Business Book Review: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a ___ by Mark Manson
In a sea of positive thinking advice, Manson is the refreshing antidote. Embracing that life is hard, but accepting this helps motivate action.
My Rating: ★★★★★
Length: 224 pages
Publisher: Macmillan Australia
Released: 2017
Key Takeaways for Personal Branding
It’s the best-seller you couldn’t not notice. Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a _ took the world by storm. For the millions of readers per month that the blogger had before writing this book, Mason’s unrivalled cut-through was a familiar one. The book itself was born from one of his most viral blog posts.
On the surface, the provocative title appears to be an act of defiance to anyone who may judge you. In reality, it’s a thought-provoking premise to live by better values and that positive thinking is a dangerous myth.
Defining Good and Bad Values
The importance of well-defined values underpins Manson’s arguments. He defines good versus bad values as:
Good
Reality-based
Socially constructive
Immediate and controllable
Bad
Superstitious
Socially destructive
Not immediately controllable
The book isn’t actually about not caring at all. But rather, it’s about caring a lot. Just about prioritising the right, not the wrong things, to care about:
“In a nutshell, this is what self-improvement is really about: prioritising better values, choosing better things to give a f**k about.”
Choosing what matters to you and what doesn’t is thus based on your finely tuned values.
The Backwards Law
Manson shares philosopher Alan Watts’ “The Backwards Law”. This proposes that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become. This is because pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.
The desire for a more positive experience creates a negative experience. The paradox is that accepting the negative experience is in itself a positive experience.
Giving in to the negative experience is not about giving up. It’s about taking action, despite it:
“To not give a f**k is to stare down life’s most terrifying and difficult challenges and still take action.”
The Sunny Side of Death
In a heartbreaking personal story, Manson shares being with his friend, Josh, on the night he died in an accident. And his life was defined as ‘before and after’ this life-changing tragedy.
Manson shares the work of academic Ernest Becker and his Pulitzer Prize-winning book, The Denial of Death. The book makes two key points:
Humans are unique in that we’re able to conceptualise and think about ourselves abstractly.
We have two selves: 1) The physical self and 2) The conceptual self (our identity and how we see the world).
It’s because of our awareness of our imminent death that we pursue “immortality projects”. Things that put our names on buildings, statues and books.
In a realisation on his deathbed, Becker concluded these immortality projects were the problem, not the solution. And that people should become more comfortable with the reality of their own death - what he calls ‘the bitter antidote’. Death is the only thing that is certain, and we can’t avoid this realisation. Once we come to terms with this, the terror of death is motivating. It helps us choose better values.
Favourite Quotes
“We have so much stuff and so many opportunities that we don’t know what to give a f**k about anymore.”
“…negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, it’s because you’re supposed to do something.”
“Denying negative emotions leads to experiencing deeper and more prolonged negative emotions and to emotional dysfunction. Constant positivity is a form of avoidance.”
“If it feels like it’s you versus the world, chances are it’s really just you versus yourself.”
Manson is a masterclass in developing a unique tone of voice in the marketplace for your personal brand. His unapologetic writing is real and raw. It feels like a conversation with your closest friends over a drink. And yet beneath its provocative style are inspiring messages. To embrace that life is messed up, and it’s okay to feel that way, so long as you’re guided every day by meaningful values.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a _by Mark Manson: Available on Amazon.
