Business Book Review: Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant

As the only thing that’s certain in life - there should be more books about death and living with grief in the business world.

My Rating: ★★★★
Length: 240 pages
Publisher: Sandberg, Sheryl
Released: 2017

Key Takeaways for Personal Branding

In life, only one thing is truly certain - death. So, Option B by Sheryl Sandberg is the book everyone needs to read. Especially those experiencing grief and, as importantly, anyone who works with (and in particular leads) people. Through her own heartbreaking insider experience, Sandberg dares to have the uncomfortable conversation few are willing to in business.

When Silicon Valley icon Sandberg’s book Lean In took the world by storm, it was unimaginable that Option B would be the shattering story that followed. It shares her experience of grief after the sudden death of her husband, Dave Goldberg, while holidaying in Mexico.

Later, when Sheryl cried that she wanted Dave, her friend responded with:

“Option A is not available. So let’s kick the s**t out of Option B.”

In Option B, Sandberg teams up with legendary Wharton psychologist and close friend, Adam Grant, to discuss grief and resilience in the face of it.

Small wins

You’ve likely heard the suggestion to write down three things you’re grateful for each day. As Sandberg recalls, Grant suggested she try this. As an exercise many can already be sceptical about (as Sheryl was), it becomes even more challenging in grief. In grief, getting dressed can be the only win.

Skepticism aside, science speaks for itself. There is evidence that lists like this help focus on what psychologists call “small wins”.  In one experiment, a group wrote down three things that went well and why every day for a week. Over the next six months, they became happier than the group that was just writing about early memories.

In another study, people spent 5-10 minutes daily writing about things that went “really well” and why. Within three weeks, their stress levels and mental and physical complaints dropped.

Laughter is the best medicine

Sandberg shares how humour makes us more resilient. Research shows that surgery patients who watch comedies request 25 percent less pain medication. Humour also positively affects soldiers’ stress, those who have lost a partner, and the success of marriages. On a physical level, humour lowers heart rates and relaxes muscles:

“Evolutionarily, humor is a signal that a situation is safe. Laughter breaks tension by making stressful situations less threatening.”

Even in her sorrow, Sandberg writes with the sprinkles of wit readers came to recognise in Lean In.

Admitting when you didn’t know what you didn’t know

Sandberg addresses the criticism she received for her first book. She said that in Lean In, which has a chapter titled ‘Making your Partner Your Real Partner’, people argued that she didn’t discuss the difficulties women without a partner faced. In Option B, she admitted they were right. Because she just didn’t get it. A brave admission. For the reader, it doesn’t highlight a fault on her part but shows that sometimes we just don’t know what we haven’t experienced - until we do.

Favourite Quotes

“Resilience is the strength and speed of your response to adversity - and we can build it.”

“When life pulls you under, you can kick against the bottom, break the surface and breathe again.”

“When children grow up with a strong understanding of their family’s history - where their grandparents grew up, what their parents’ childhoods were like - they have better coping skills and a stronger sense of belonging.”

In heartbreaking harmony, Option B balances personal stories - a love story - with science. Sharing both memories and tools for moving forward. Useful insights for those on both sides of grief.

As the only thing that’s certain in life, books about grief in business should not be this rare. So, yet again, Sandberg is pioneering the conversation that needs to be had.

In some form or another, grief will eventually become everyone's reality. Nothing will ever prepare you for it. But some things may help you understand the many shades of grief better. Option B is one of those things. Whether it affects you directly or your spouse, co-workers, friends or family. Read Option B before you need your Plan B.

Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant:  Available on Amazon.