The most important decision you can make for your personal brand

Do this before you go any further with your personal brand

Learn the difference between a limiting belief and a decision. You’ll start to clear any creative blocks holding back your personal brand.

As a young adult, I’d say with conviction that I wasn’t a reader. Even though as a child, I loved reading and any chance to learn.

While I was in primary school, book companies would send students order catalogues. As lovers of learning, it was a luxury my parents allowed me to indulge in. I’d eagerly mark all I wanted. Once, upon seeing my form, my teacher said “I feel sorry for your parents.” But, despite their modesty toward most material things, my parents never protested. They saw the value.

In high school, this love affair fizzled fast. You might say this would be many high schoolers’ experience. But, I attended during the astronomical rise of Harry Potter. Which shockingly for some, wasn’t my style.

My Papa worked overseas in Malaysia and came home for holidays. I’d admire how he always brought a new book home for his holiday reading. But, by then I was already telling myself I wasn’t a reader.

How wrong I was.

The real story was that the assigned reading in high school didn’t align with my personal brand style. It was that simple.

Fortunately, I later discovered business books and other non-fiction. I fell in love.

It was just before beginning my MBA. I had taken a few weeks off to spend with my Gran, who had progressing dementia. Every day, she’d teach me a new family recipe and afterwards, I’d sit quietly with her and read a book. Sometimes getting through one every day or two. I rekindled my love of reading.

A few years later, what was meant to be a one-year personal challenge of reading a book a week turned into a habit. One I’ve maintained for five years. Taking creative control, I rewrote my limiting belief.

Here’s a four-step process to help overcome your own personal brand limiting beliefs:

Tip #1. Make the decision to confront your limiting beliefs

Know the difference between limiting beliefs and limiting decisions. Through the power of words, this distinction matters.

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) explores the connection between language and the brain. NLP proposes that limiting beliefs (anything holding you back) are actually decisions. Caused by an event that preceded the adoption of the belief.

NLP challenges you to consider which of the following you believe yourself to be:

At effect: You believe things happen to you.

At cause: You take responsibility.

If I understood this better in school, I would have taken creative control sooner.

There are the stories you tell yourself and the stories you tell other people. But, somewhere in between, there’s the story within you. So, tell yourself the real story. Not the fictional tale you made up. It’s the most important decision you’ll make for your personal brand growth.

Tip #2. Acknowledge your secondary gain

NLP also confronts another hidden problem. And it's a sneaky one:

Secondary gain: When a negative or problematic behaviour has some positive result or benefit.

Secondary gain can subconsciously cause you to hold on to the limiting decision. For example, by believing that I didn’t enjoy reading, I gave myself free time for other things.

Acknowledge your secondary gain. Give your mind permission to put the limiting decision behind you. And free yourself to fully realise your personal brand potential - without limits.

Tip: From here, refer to limiting beliefs in the past tense. Because words matter.

Tip #3. Rewrite your limiting belief

Using past tense is more than just a trick for your subconscious. Give your old limiting belief further thought. I’m confident you’ll discover you’ve overcome it more than you realise.

In my personal brand coaching, I ask how you've already obliterated these beliefs. For example:

• Think you’re not confident enough? Recall your most profound example that discredits this belief.

• Feel you’re always second best? Recall your greatest win.

• Think you’re not worthy? Prove yourself wrong.

Convinced you’re ‘terrible with tech’, ‘bad at writing’, ‘not a public speaker’ or anything else? Rewrite your story.

Tip #4. Be clear on your duty

Once you’ve written your story, it’s time to acknowledge your personal brand duty.

What is the most compelling reason you need to leave this limiting belief behind you? To fully realise the potential of your personal brand?

I now feel a duty to my personal brand to read. Because learning is one of my personal brand's core values, with a clear underlying belief related to storytelling.

Our beliefs matter. As Mahatma Gandhi said:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”

When doing value-orientated work, ensure you’ve reorientated yourself properly before moving forward. Create a legacy you can be proud of. Not the one you may have settled for. But, the one you deserve.

So, if you're telling yourself tales, ask yourself… when did you make that decision?